When I sat down today to write an obituary for Ma/mother who passed away on 6th September 2020 around 5:00 pm Indian Standard time, for the first time, my hands froze. I was never a great writer or a poet, but putting words together was something which never eluded me… until today.
I know losing a loved one can be a difficult time for anyone especially when the loved one is your mother. A mother holds a special place in our hearts and their unflinching love and affection, silent compassion with many unspoken moments string together a necklace of our life’s journey. More so when within 5 years of each other, both your parents’ march towards a there final heavenly destination.
But when I sat down to write today, the realization dawned upon me that I am suddenly alone, suddenly an orphan in the middle of the ocean with a whirlpool on one side and great waves on the other . I suddenly realized I can’t just run away from the world and put my head deep down on someone’s lap, I can’t go and say I am hungry and you need to cook this for me, I can’t be ever again be scared of the darkness with the belief that there is someone to protect me. All I am left with today are memories
For me, she was my mother, my first teacher, my first disciplinarian, someone who loved me immensely but for others probably a lot more.
When I start looking back on some of the chapters through the memory lane, what I hear is,
- she immensely loved everyone she came across, caste, creed, color, wealth no bar
- she was an excellent teacher … sure I am one of her students, but there are countless more who can vouch for that
- she was a great human being .. helping the poor, the needy without ever letting anyone know
- She taught and lived … “do good, good will happen to you” . .. I know even sometimes I used to get frustrated with that.
Rarely people without authoritative positions make a big difference in anyone’s life. Ma in her own way probably did make a difference to many people’s life.
It is truly a loss to me and my immediate family but l am sure it is a big loss to many more…..
That being said it is our belief that death is a new beginning with a merger of the soul with the Brahmana. As some people over the last 2 days has been trying to convince me, her soul is going to become one with my father (baba) and hence.
While I am trying to find my inner strength to overcome the sense of inconceivable sorrow and grief and I am deluged with memories of gratitude to the departed soul, I am hoping fond memories will provide the support to cope with this phase of mourning.
Hence to those fond memories ….